Electrified

sometimes you get so worked up
that you find yourself hooked onto
a car battery
with your whole body vibrating
and your mind on a stair climber
and your logic
speeding so fast down the highway
that every safety cone
is laid to waste.

sometimes you don't recognize yourself
nor do you want to.

sometimes it feels like every person you speak to
is a colliding world
and it's a miracle
if you survive just one encounter.

sometimes you scream at nothing.

like a dog in space.

sometimes
you stick a
"do not disturb sign"
on your ear

and yet they still come a knocking.

and they tuck the sheets in too tight.

sometimes
the salt pours too fast
and
sometimes
you can't sleep at all.

and sometimes
you just don't care how flawed
you are
or how many clients may

read

your

secrets.

sometimes you just have to let it fly
with tired eyes
and just shake your head
and hope for the best.

 

because sometimes the day owns you.
and
sometimes the night is rough.


and sometimes you
just have to hang up your coat
and retire
worn,
dazed
and
defeated.




 

 

Speak it and Mean it?

If you speak with conviction and purpose
people will listen.

Not everyone will listen,
but some will.

And it's very possible that when you do this,
whatever you're saying,
will crest the peak of
what some may call
"a colossal pile of horse shit".

But if you say it with
conviction and purpose,
and a tear in the eye,
people will listen.

Because speaking from the heart
will ALWAYS turn some heads.

Even if the words were formed
completely in your ass.

 

 

 

The Little Things


I enjoy cracking open
a crisp, new deck of cards.

I love unwrapping the pristine, tightly folded paper
on an uncut block of butter.

I love peeling the gift wrap skin off a fresh tomatillo.

What does all this tell me?

Is it the little things that matter?

Maybe so.

Or perhaps it's time to get off my ass
and find some bigger and better things to enjoy,

like
WATCHING A FRIGGIN' VOLCANO ERUPT,

or
RIDING IN A LAND VEHICLE AS IT BREAKS THE SOUND BARRIER

or
EATING AN ENTIRE WHEELBARROW FULL OF ICE CREAM?

Maybe it's time to start enjoying the BIG things
and stop being such a pussy.

You Have To Show Up


just play the piano.
your song will come later.

just keep your head up
and move your fingers
and read the music that's been written.
your song will come when it's ready.
just show up,
put in your time,
and when you least expect it,
your song will be there.

and it will be magnificent.

and it will remind you of who you are,
what you love,
and why you do what you do.

just play the piano.
even if it feels empty,
and even if it feels cold.
just play the piano.

it's worth it, my friend.
play.

even if it feels like
the ceiling may collapse.

even if it feels uncomfortable
and wrong.

sit down and play.

it is extremely important
that you put it in the time,
even if you feel like
there's nothing there.

because when the time comes
that something IS there,

you must be ready.

because it may just be that very moment
that defines your life.

so play the piano, my friend.
and be patient.

your song will come.

and it will be better than you ever thought possible.

Earth, Wind, and Monkeys

in

We are in the mountains.
It's cold in our cabin,
so the girlfriend and I light a fire.
Sitting there watching the amber flames chew their bark,
my mind starts searching for metaphors.

I think to myself:
Having a fire in your fireplace
is like having a raging, orange monkey with arthritis
locked in a crate,
hissing and popping and cracking its joints.

But then I think to myself:
No, that's not what it's like at all.
Nobody will understand that.
Derek, you won't even know what
you're talking about in a week's time.

But then I think:
Yet, there's got to be some way to
harness this fire, poetically, outside the usual
literary terms and devices?

Here is this thing, that is engrained in our history
as a savior of mankind.
It brought us warmth and light, security and nutriment.
Yet it is also this dangerous beast, capable of destroying
entire civilizations, and even the entire human race
if the conditions were right.

And it's right here in my house.

There's just this CAGE OF FIRE in my living room.

And when it gets hungry, I feed it logs.
Because it likes logs.
And even though it seems alive,
it's okay to kill it.
I'm just not supposed to let it out of its cage,
because it's kind of crazy
and has a very broad appetite. 

There's nothing like fire.
Sure, there are beautiful parallels:
Her bright, redwood hair unfolding in the sunlight,
like fire.
A flurry of cardinals in a windstorm, spiraling into the clouds,
like fire.

But we've heard it all before.
And I need to let this go

and stop trying
to harness

this

fire.

 

Desert Vignette


A herd of Black Angus cattle scattered across a white,
sunbleached, crusted desert off of I-40 in New Mexico.
Tiny, black dots among an arid, fallow field
that look like cracked black pepper on a slice of old, dry toast.

And there by the side of the road is a dented highway guard rail
all crumbled in the median around a smashed cement divider
lying wasted among cookie crumbs of concrete
and wrecked rebar that fans out of the wreckage like wirey fingers
or twisted pipe cleaners
or bent hangers wrestling in the trash.

And finally, a roadside cross
decorated with dusty, silk roses
and a loose, plastic grocery sack
that whips violently in the desert wind
yet manages to hang on
by a single loop of plastic that
never
lets
go.

Positive Injection

right now, you are alive.

right now, you are free.

and for as long as you can remember,
you have always had a desire to
give something to the world.

you may not be doing what you want to do
right now,

but you have the desire. 

and that is powerful.

and you must carry that with you.

because it is what makes you.

don't ever allow yourself
to forget
the fact
that despite
what the other voices tell you...

you will matter.

 

Still Going

it seems as more time goes by
i write less

 but oh, how my wheels still tear up the pavement,
my mind driving madly through the mountains,
giving even the underside of every highway overpass
my undivided attention.
as i drive i watch everything as if I might find some
lovely accident of nature

hidden in the cracks,
something frightening,
anything beautiful,

that might provide me with just enough distraction
to make it to the next minute.

 to make it to the next stop.

i don't know where i am going tonight.
but i do know that wherever the music takes me,
wherever my instincts pull the wheel,
i'll be alone with the patched and tattered moon,
the electric green grass lit by
the halogen street lights, flaring orange,
and the sodium fog as it breathes through the canyons
across the road,
bent but unbroken. 

everything quiet.

everything alone,
in its own, little world.

as it should be.

TO DO LIST

drink ice-cold water
from a clear, glass bottle
while standing in a piping hot shower

and try and watch the sunset every day

and listen to music
without lyrics, every now and then

and be sure to check your oil.

oh, and tell your friends and family
that you love them
OFTEN

work to survive.
stay committed.
and don't get too comfortable.

keep going.

just keep going. 

and remember to
drink ice-cold water
from a clear, glass bottle
while standing in a piping hot shower.

 

 

Mattress Filet

If you come closer than an earshot of a mattress salesman
while you're in the market for a fancy mattress
be wary of running your mouth too much.

A savvy mattress salesman will secretary your dialogue
and use it against you like he's Alger Hiss in a pumpkin patch.

And when it comes time to hack down the price
with whatever words you've cut on your bargaining axe,
that savvy mattress salesman will fire right back
and say something to the effect of:
"What do you mean you can't afford the Tempurpedic?
Aren't you having steak and lobster for dinner?"

"No, my clever mattress salesman, no
you must be mistaken.
We're just having plain, old, stale taco shells tonight.
No meat. No cheese. Just can't afford it."