Bring Me Some Cake

in

Just give me some cake already.

Seriously.

What do I have to do?

Please... tell me.

Tell me what I have to do... to TRICK YOU into bringing me some cake.

Do you know,
that if you walk to the market and buy me some cake
you'll get some healthy exxxerrrrccccisssse. And that's good for you.

Bringing me cake is good for you. 

BUT ONLY...

if you WALK and
BRING ME SOME CAKE.

That's the only way to get exercise these days.

And that's the only way I'm going to like you.

So let's make this easy on both of us:
Bring me some cake.

Just bring me some cake...
set it down in front of me...
and walk away.

And don't look at me.

Don't you dare look at me.

Keep your hands where I can see them and slowly back away.

And if you even THINK about calling the cops...

I'll shoot everyone in the room.

And I mean it.